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I know who I am

I’m a mixed woman. I’ve been fortunate enough to grow up in a nice neighbor, in a nice suburban middle-class town, with nice parents, like the nice little mixed Jewish girl I am.

I’ve been called an “Oreo” by little kids who didn’t know that it doesn’t mean mixed Black and White, but really a more hurtful meaning, Black on the outside White on the inside.

I’ve been called “High Yellow” by men who thought it was funny and people in college who used it to determine which Black Sorority I would pledge.

I’ve been called “Light Skinned” by family who used it as a slam and by people who thought it was a compliment that I could “pass as anything”. 

I’ve been told I can’t be Jewish because I’m Black – I still don’t understand how people don’t get that Judaism is a religion where as being Black is part of my ethnicity.

I’ve been told there are things I wouldn’t get to do cause I’m a woman. I’ve been told I’m part White so I couldn’t get any exceptions or help. I grew up privileged but faced questions about who I was and which groups I belonged to for years. I’ve never had a chance to be anything but me. From a young age I remember never being ok to just check one box – I even got in trouble in school once because I felt it wasn’t fair or right that I should only be allowed to say one since I loved both my parents. My cousins are all darker and most friends that are Black certainly are. That’s what makes us beautiful – all the various shades of every person.

Photo by Shavonne Wieder

I get a lot of confusion on my race but what I have never once in my life done is lie about it. I have never pretended who I am because I’m a proud woman who is lucky to come from a rich storied background. I’m proud of every scar I have as a child that I didn’t even know was one. I’m proud of every accomplishment I’ve had because, yes I did come from privilege and yes I was given chances some others may not have had but I was still questioned on my ability, my wisdom, my talent simply because the color of my skin. People can’t be sure my background so they can’t peg me in a hole and for that, I’m happy to be in every box. I’m happy to represent for who I am. 

All that still holds true as a I continue to try and raise up in my professional career and personal life. I have always known that I was the only BIPOC in some friends lives and really the only Black person some people know. That’s unfortunate for them but I hold on to that and remind myself that if I can represent what being Black in America looks like to those people, I can help change preconceived notions and be an ear to hear questions. I’m proud to be mixed but America doesn’t always see me as anything but a light-skinned Black woman and I will stand proud knowing that.

11 Comments

  • V.S.
    June 12, 2020 at 7:09 am

    Beautifully written my dear friend!

    Reply
  • Carmen Smith
    June 12, 2020 at 6:01 pm

    Wonderful post!

    Reply
  • Gabriel Williams-Taime
    June 12, 2020 at 9:48 pm

    Amazing! Speaking truth to power for all of us mixed race black folk! Continue to shine friend.

    Reply
    • Lena Lidaka
      June 24, 2020 at 11:11 am

      Excellent very said whole your head high

      Reply
  • Tristan
    June 12, 2020 at 10:54 pm

    Beautiful piece by a beautiful woman

    Reply
  • Beth Mathiowetz
    June 14, 2020 at 2:58 pm

    Beautiful and proud you shared this!!

    Reply
  • Portia
    June 14, 2020 at 6:23 pm

    I love this and I love you Shavonne <3 thank you for being brave and standing tall.

    Reply
  • David Heimerl
    June 14, 2020 at 8:49 pm

    Extra love lasers for you right now friend! ❤️🔫❤️

    Reply
    • Sheila Troupe
      June 19, 2020 at 6:44 pm

      You go girl! I am soooo proud to be your aunt and you continue to make me prouder everyday!

      Reply
  • Cynthia Hightower
    June 19, 2020 at 7:23 pm

    I love to see that you are using your voice to speak out on this important issue. You shine a spotlight on the idea that you are breaking sterotypes because you are not to be put in a box as one thing. You are articulate, eloquent, and passionate about this important issue. We come from a family of teachers. Continue to teach with compassion and truth! I am very proud of you!

    Reply
  • Jurrell
    June 20, 2020 at 5:01 pm

    This was a beautiful read. Never have I ever felt more represented as a biracial baby.

    Reply

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